Post 1- In Memory

of Louis Joseph Provost, better known to me as andy's Uncle Joe. the guy was so respectable in so many ways, and i am truly honored to have known him, although it was for far too short a time. Uncle Joe was in the Air Force during WWII, Korea, and Vietnam. He was stationed in Alaska, guarding missiles during the cold war scary parts. When he retired from the service, he became a fire fighter, first at Bradley Air Force Base, later at South Hadley Massachusetts (I think that's the order). He taught fire fighting to a ton of guys who still protect us while we sleep today, and he's part of what inspires andy to go ahead with the tough work it takes to become a fire fighter. Joe's wife died 30 years ago, and his only son died 11 months ago, and although i'm sure that through the course of years those issues were incredibly painful to him, all the time i've known him, he's been amazing at living a full, happy, and reasonably healthy life- ok, except for the smoking, which he kept trying to quit, but honestly, he really enjoyed having a cigarette.

The biggest honor i was granted with Uncle Joe is being there when he died, and for his funeral with full military honors. Both occasions were startling in their simplicity, and in ways, their beauty, and certainly, both befit a man who had served our country in the military and as a civilian (firefighters aren't exactly civilians- i've never seen such an amazing outpouring of support as from the guys he worked with so long ago. it's truly a brotherhood.). He was born Feb 7, 1929, while I was still 50 years away from being thought of. my dad's parents were both born in 1929, for perspective. a week ago friday, i got a message from andy's parents that they couldn't reach either of us, but that Joe had a stroke, at first minor, then a second stroke that had left him in a coma and on life support. We decided to wait the night, but to go to Holyoke, MA where Joe lived and was in the hospital, first thing saturday morning. His granddaughter couldn't be there until Sunday morning, so it was decided that the ventilator support should be continued until she could get there. all the time we spent in his room in the icu on saturday was excruciating- the monitor that shows his vital signs was more than concerning. if we saw any one of the readings it had up, we would rush to the hospital with a patient- low oxygen saturation, fast breathing (but artificially set that way by the respirator), slow but variable pulse, low blood pressure, abnormal ekg... but since, well, we were in the hospital- no one ever taught us what to do then aside from paperwork and the next call- there was nothing to be done. he had a hemmorhagic stroke- a large bleed in his brain- that the neurosurgeons had found to be completely unreversible. luckily, we knew he had received the very best care. he had gone to visit the amazing guys at one of the south hadley fire houses- he went there a few times a week with donuts just to catch up and to hang out with the guys- and they decided to go upstairs. on the steps, he triped, and as they were helping him up, they noticed unmistakable signs of a stroke. the ambulance was steps away, and wisely, they didn't wait for advanced support to get to them, they just drove as quickly as they could, and arrived at the hospital less than 10 min afterwards. for reference, the rule is to try to determine if we can be positive that a stroke happened within 3 hrs of hospital arrival time- the sooner, the more likely it can be treated, after 3 hrs, we can treat symptoms, but some of the first line things they can do are no longer options.

anyway, his grandson arrived, and Joe was lucid, talking, and in good spirits about an hour later, when he started to take a turn, and they decided to intubate him to see if he had a reversible problem. ultimately, his wishes were to NOT be on extraordinary life support measures. luckily, he had written all his wishes out in a legal document and made his grandson his proxy, so there weren't questions. unfortunately (maybe not), he was already on the vent when they realized they couldn't reverse the condition, and so on sunday, once the grandson and granddaughter and their spouses had arrived, along with me and andy, they took the respirator off, and we stayed with him while he died. again, it was an uncomfortable paradox of knowing what was happening on the monitor (the nurses shut some parts of it off, but his breathing and ekg stayed up). i've seen the signs in other people that they need some help- quickly. lips not quite the right color, pulse too strong in the neck... and we had to ignore it when the monitor read apnea-apnea-apnea to alert everyone that he was no longer breathing. his grandkids watched andy and i instead of the monitor, i imagine because we knew what each bit meant. it blinked asystole-asystole-asystole.... and we knew that was that. they let us have all the time we needed, and everyone got to say good bye, though none of us wanted to at all.

I've never seen a military funeral. Joe's was held Friday at the veteran's cemetary. at his wake, firefighters stood honor guard the whole time, and people streamed by, telling us that he had taught them, that something he taught them had saved their life, that they now teach and use some of his insight, that he gave some advice about which department was good to work for, which led to a happy 25 year career. some brought patches for joe's casket, some brought patches for andy. all the dress uniforms past, some airforce buddies came by- some had pictures of joe in action. the funeral started with bagpipes and a prayer, followed by the gun salute bit- i've never seen that in real life. they folded the flag, and again, i've only ever seen the presentation on tv. This air force woman (i don't know if they are soldiers, or what her rank was- master sergent i think), got on a knee in front of Joe's grandson, and said, "On behalf of the President of the United States, the Department of the Air Force, and a grateful nation, we offer this flag for the faithful and dedicated service of" (i think his rank was)"Master Sergent Louis Joseph Provost." Taps, and amazing grace on the bag pipes- i was the biggest blubbering idiot. andy's family is quite stoic. as amazing grace ends, the bagpiper walks away through the cemetary as the people exit the chapel- also a really beautiful thing. I was just crazy impressed start to finish.

To me, uncle joe was the guy who always invited us to stop by when we were driving up to Boston- his place isn't far out of the way. But, he said, always call first, so he can make sure he's dressed! he's the guy who liked me immediately for some reason, and after we had met a few times, insisted that i take something he had been "keeping for a long time, and enjoyed quite a lot." I was so worried about what he would bring me- but fear not. it was a school photo of andy, framed on his desk, from about the 3rd grade. he was one of andy's mentors, and inspiration, and a really cool old guy who did things the way he wanted them done. he always had a crease in the legs of his slacks, listened to Tchaikovsky, only cooked in the microwave, and had more books about Patton than i thought existed. Thanks for letting me know you and your family, Uncle Joe!